big bang

.gitignore

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+node_modules/
+
+.env.vars
+.env
+wrangler.toml
+
+src/feat/birthdays.json
+

readme.md

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+```
+┌─ minute          0
+│ ┌─ hour          17
+│ │ ┌─ day         *
+│ │ │ ┌─ month     *
+│ │ │ │ ┌─ weekday *
+│ │ │ │ │
+0 17 * * *
+```
+
+its in UTC+00, so
+```
+UTC cron time = UTC+7 desired time − 7 hours
+00:00 − 07:00 = 17:00 UTC
+
+17:00 UTC
++ 7 hours
+----------
+00:00 UTC+7
+```

src/discord/mod.ts

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+import type { Env } from "../env"
+
+const DISCORD_API = "https://discord.com/api/v10"
+
+// no embedbuilder cuz fuck you
+export interface DiscordEmbed 
+{
+    title?: string
+    description?: string
+    fields?: Array<{
+        name: string
+        value: string
+        inline?: boolean
+    }>
+    footer?: {
+        text: string
+    }
+}
+
+export async function editMessage(env: Env, content: string | null, embeds: DiscordEmbed[] = []): Promise<void> 
+{
+    const response = await fetch(`${DISCORD_API}/channels/${env.DISCORD_CHANNEL_ID}/messages/${env.DISCORD_MESSAGE_ID}`, {
+        method: "PATCH",
+        headers: {
+            "Authorization": `Bot ${env.DISCORD_BOT_TOKEN}`,
+            "Content-Type": "application/json"
+        },
+        body: JSON.stringify({
+            content,
+            embeds
+        })
+    })
+
+    if (!response.ok) 
+    {
+        const body = await response.text()
+
+        throw new Error(`fuckass discord returned ${response.status}: ${body}`)
+    }
+}

src/env.ts

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+export interface Env 
+{
+    DISCORD_BOT_TOKEN: string
+    DISCORD_CHANNEL_ID: string
+    DISCORD_MESSAGE_ID: string
+}

src/feat/birthdays.ts

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+import birthdays from "./birthdays.json"
+import type { DiscordEmbed } from "../discord/mod"
+
+interface Birthdays 
+{
+    [date: string]: string[]
+}
+
+export function getBirthdays(date: string): string[] 
+{
+    return (birthdays as Birthdays)[date] ?? []
+}
+
+export function createBirthdayEmbed(date: string): DiscordEmbed 
+{
+    const names = getBirthdays(date)
+
+    return {
+        fields: [{
+            name: "Today's Birthdays",
+            value: names.length > 0 ? names.map(name => `- ${name}`).join("\n") : "No birthdays today.",
+            inline: false
+        }]
+    }
+}

src/index.ts

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+import type { Env } from "./env"
+
+import { editMessage } from "./discord/mod"
+
+import { getToday } from "./utils/date"
+import { createBirthdayEmbed } from "./feat/birthdays"
+
+async function updateMessage(env: Env): Promise<void> 
+{
+    await editMessage(
+        env,
+        `Last updated: <t:${Math.floor(Date.now() / 1000)}:F>`,
+        [ // embeds
+            createBirthdayEmbed(getToday("Asia/Jakarta"))
+        ]
+    )
+}
+
+export default 
+{
+    async fetch(request: Request, env: Env): Promise<Response> 
+    {
+        const url = new URL(request.url)
+
+        if (url.pathname === "/invoke") 
+        {
+            await updateMessage(env)
+
+            return new Response("Discord message updated")
+        }
+
+        return new Response("Not Found", {
+            status: 404
+        })
+    },
+
+    async scheduled(_event: ScheduledEvent, env: Env, _ctx: ExecutionContext): Promise<void> 
+    {
+        await updateMessage(env)
+    }
+}

src/utils/date.ts

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+export function getToday(timeZone = "Asia/Jakarta"): string 
+{
+    /*
+    * Intl API cuz i can :P
+    */
+    return new Intl.DateTimeFormat("en-US", {
+        timeZone,
+        month: "2-digit",
+        day: "2-digit"
+    })
+    .format(new Date())
+}

wrangler.toml.example

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+name = "meowl-cron"
+main = "src/index.ts"
+compatibility_date = "2025-07-18"
+
+[triggers]
+crons = ["0 17 * * *"]
+
+[vars]
+DISCORD_CHANNEL_ID = ""
+DISCORD_MESSAGE_ID = ""
+DISCORD_BOT_TOKEN  = ""